Rush, push & Rush

Tired Exhausted Fatigue. These are not quite the words that one should think of while stepping into the office. But then I couldn't help it today. There are some things that you should definitely avoid in life and traveling in the Mumbai buses after 9:30 am is definitely one of those. Varun and I stepped into the bus (Number 40) at 10:00 am. Both of us were foot-boarding for the first 5 mins. Our usual 'Go south' strategy didn't work as the rear part of the bus was too crowded for us to find any space. The 'Go south' strategy where we try and find some space towards the rear of the bus worked well for us last week. Once we manage to find some space there, there would be no one asking us to move 'aagey' and since our final stop at Andheri was near a traffic signal (also considering the traffic at that hour) we would get enough time to step out of the bus from the rear exit.

We were not lucky today and soon I was doing an ‘aagey chalo bhaiyya’. There was no space for the poor guy to go ahead. But neither did I have any space to go back. If I had stayed there I knew that there would be others pushing me and so I decided to find some space in the front. It was jam-packed and I found the going tough. Varun who was held up near the steps for quite some time now joined me. A couple of minutes later, there were a couple of guys pushing Varun and I forged ahead putting the foot in the sparse empty spaces that were available. I just heaved a sigh of relief but with 2 women trying to move to the front I knew the worst was yet to come. In circumstances like this ‘side stick’ strategy comes in handy. As the name suggests , in ‘side stick’ strategy we move so close to the seat and stand sideways facing the seat creating enough space for the women folk to move forward. Unfortunately this time, there were others already employing this strategy so all that we could do is stick to them. Just as the women moved ahead, there was a guy 6 feet tall and probably around 90 kg weight who wanted to move forward. I seriously think people above certain height and weight should no be allowed in the Mumbai buses. With people like this guy fighting for space, what chance do weaklings like me stand? Worse still was the fact that the guy moved straight (not sideways which would have saved some space) stretching both his hands to cling on to the support. Looking at him I wondered if he was standing in a bus or working out in a gym. At one point my face was right in front of his arm-pits. 'Bloody-hell!!!'I thought!.' To hell with the Mumbai buses '. Thankfully for me the agony did not last long as he moved ahead. I was dying to share this with Varun and when I did tell him about this guy, he told me about another guy who was forging his way through the rush using his pot-belly. ‘Argh! Another outlier’ I thought. There should be some rules to ensure that these guys don’t bully their way through the rest of the crowd in the bus. Gosh! It’s such a pain. It doesn’t matter if I don’t shave. It doesn’t matter if I don’t take bath or even if I don’t brush. I realized today that the objective after I get up in the morning should be to reach the office as early as possible.

Initially, when I started moving in the buses in Mumbai, I used to be worried about someone stealing my wallet. In the Mumbai buses, one usually doesn’t have the luxury of moving one’s hands to check if the wallet is in the pocket. Over a period of time, I realized that my usually highly insensitive bum was now able to feel my wallet and relieve me of the tension. Darwin was right about his theory of evolution and things do adapt according to the surroundings.

As we started walking on the footpath, I encountered a huge man-hole that was large enough to fit 4-5 guys. The gym-guy in the bus would easily fit into it. Probably he could even take me and Varun along with him without much difficulty. I turned back to explain this to Varun. Seeing that he was far behind me I continued my walk only to find another man-hole awaiting me. I was lucky that Varun was not too close to me otherwise I would have landed in this man-hole trying to explain him about the other one. Sounds funny! But it could have really happened to me today. I was so tired and drained as I entered the office. There are many flyovers coming up in the Hyderabad and doing some mazdori kaam there might be better than this. Well, I think I need a break.